Chapter 5 Cannibalism in the Cars
I visited St. Louis lately, and on my way West, after changing cars at Terre Haute, Indiana, a mild, benevolent-looking gentleman of about forty-five, or maybe fifty, came in at one of the way-stations and sat down beside talked together pleasantly on various subjects for an hour, perhaps, and I found him exceedingly intelligent and he learned that I was from Washington, he immediately began to ask questions about various public men, and about Congressional affairs;and I saw very shortly that I was conversing with a man who was perfectly familiar with the ins and outs of political life at the Capital, even to the ways and manners, and customs of procedure of Senators and Representatives in the Chambers of the National two men halted near us for a single moment, and one said to the other：
“Harris, if you'll do that for me, I'll never forget you, my boy.”
My new comrade's eye lighted pleasantly. The words had touched upon a happy memory, I his face settled into thoughtfulness—almost into turned to me and said,“Let me tell you a story;let me give you a secret chapter of my life—a chapter that has never been referred to by me since its events patiently, and promise that you will not interrupt me.”
I said I would not, and he related the following strange adventure, speaking sometimes with animation, sometimes with melancholy, but always with feeling and earnestness.
THE STRANGER'S NARRATIVE
“On the 19th of December,1853,I started from St. Louis on the evening train bound for were only twenty-four passengers, all were no ladies and no were in excellent spirits, and pleasant acquaintanceships were soon journey bade fair to be a happy one;and no individual in the party, I think, had even the vaguest presentiment of the horrors we were soon to undergo.
“At II p. began to snow after leaving the small village of Welden, we entered upon that tremendous prairie solitude that stretches its leagues on leagues of houseless dreariness far away toward the Jubilee winds, unobstructed by trees or hills, or even vagrant rocks, whistled fiercely across the level desert, driving the falling snow before it like spray from the crested waves of a stormy snow was deepening fast;and we knew, by the diminished speed of the train, that the engine was plowing through it with steadily increasing , it almost came to a dead halt sometimes, in the midst of great drifts that piled themselves like colossal graves across the began to gave place to grave possibility of being imprisoned in the snow, on the bleak prairie, fifty miles from any house, presented itself to every mind, and extended its depressing influence over every spirit.
“At two o'clock in the morning I was aroused out of an uneasy slumber by the ceasing of all motion about me. The appalling truth flashed upon me instantly—we were captives in a snow-drift!‘All hands to the rescue!'Every man sprang to into the wild night, the pitchy darkness, the billowy snow, the driving storm, every soul leaped, with the consciousness that a moment lost now might bring destruction to us , hands, boards—anything, everything that could displace snow, was brought into instant was a weird picture, that small company of frantic men fighting the banking snows, half in the blackest shadow and half in the angry light of the locomotive's reflector.
“One short hour sufficed to prove the utter uselessness of our efforts. The storm barricaded the track with a dozen drifts while we dug one worse than this, it was discovered that the last grand charge the engine had made upon the enemy had broken the fore-and-aft shaft of the driving-wheel!With a free track before us we should still have been entered the car wearied with labor, and very gathered about the stoves, and gravely canvassed our had no provisions whatever—in this lay our chief could not freeze, for there was a good supply of wood in the was our only discussion ended at last in accepting the disheartening decision of the conductor, viz.,that it would be death for any man to attempt to travel fifty miles on foot through snow like could not send for help, and even if we could it would not must submit, and await, as patiently as we might, succor or starvation!I think the stoutest heart there felt a momentary chill when those words were uttered.
“Within the hour conversation subsided to a low murmur here and there about the car, caught fitfully between the rising and falling of the blast;the lamps grew dim;and the majority of the castaways settled themselves among the flickering shadows to think—to forget the present, if they could—to sleep, if they might.
“The eternal night—it surely seemed eternal to us—wore its lagging hours away at last, and the cold gray dawn broke in the east. As the light grew stronger the passengers began to stir and give signs of life, one after another, and each in turn pushed his slouched hat up from his forehead, stretched his stiffened limbs, and glanced out of the windows upon the cheerless was cheerless, indeed!—not a living thing visible anywhere, not a human habitation;nothing but a vast white desert;uplifted sheets of snow drifting hither and thither before the wind—a world of eddying flakes shutting out the firmament above.
“All day we moped about the cars, saying little, thinking much. Another lingering dreary night—and hunger.
“Another dawning—another day of silence, sadness, wasting hunger, hopeless watching for succor that could not come. A night of restless slumber, filled with dreams of feasting—wakings distressed with the gnawings of hunger.
“The fourth day came and went—and the fifth!Five days of dreadful imprisonment!A savage hunger looked out at every eye. There was in it a sign of awful import—the foreshadowing of a something that was vaguely shaping itself in every heart—a something which no tongue dared yet to frame into words.
“The sixth day passed—the seventh dawned upon as gaunt and haggard and hopeless a company of men as ever stood in the shadow of death. It must out now!That thing which had been growing up in every heart was ready to leap from every lip at last!Nature had been taxed to the utmost—she must of Minnesota, tall, cadaverous, and pale, rose knew what was prepared—every emotion, every semblance of excitement—was smothered—only a calm, thoughtful seriousness appeared in the eyes that were lately so wild.
“‘Gentlemen：It cannot be delayed longer!The time is at hand!We must determine which of us shall die to furnish food for the rest!'
“MR. JOHN of Illinois rose and said：‘Gentlemen—I nominate the Sawyer of Tennessee.'
“MR. of Indiana said：‘I nominate Slote of New York.'
“MR. CHARLES ：‘I nominate of .'
“MR. SLOTE：‘Gentlemen—I desire to decline in favor of Nostrand, Jun.,of New Jersey.'
“MR. GASTON.‘If there be no objection, the gentleman's desire will be acceded to.'
“MR. VAN NOSTRAND objecting, the resignation of was resignations of and Bowen were also offered, and refused upon the same grounds.
“MR. of Ohio：‘I move that the nominations now close, and that the House proceed to an election by ballot.'
“MR. SAWYER：‘Gentlemen—I protest earnestly against these are, in every way, irregular and must beg to move that they be dropped at once, and that we elect a chairman of the meeting and proper officers to assist him, and then we can go on with the business before us understandingly.'
“MR. BELL of Iowa：‘Gentlemen—I is no time to stand upon forms and ceremonious more than seven days we have been without moment we lose in idle discussion increases our am satisfied with the nominations that have been made—every gentleman present is, I believe—and I, for one, do not see why we should not proceed at once to elect one or more of wish to offer a resolution—'
“MR. GASTON：‘It would be objected to, and have to lie over one day under the rules, thus bringing about the very delay you wish to gentleman from New Jersey—'
“MR. VAN NOSTRAND：‘Gentlemen—I am a stranger among you;I have not sought the distinction that has been conferred upon me, and I feel a delicacy—'
“MR. MORGAN of Alabama(interrupting)：‘I move the previous question.'
“The motion was carried, and further debate shut off, of course. The motion to elect officers was passed, and under it was chosen chairman, , secretary, , Dyer, and Baldwin a committee on nominations, and , purveyor, to assist the committee in making selections.
“A recess of half an hour was then taken, and some little caucusing followed. At the sound of the gavel the meeting reassembled, and the committee reported in favor of Ferguson of Kentucky, Lucien Herrman of Louisiana, and of Colorado as report was accepted.
“MR. ROGERS of Missouri：‘：The report being properly before the House now, I move to amend it by substituting for the name of that of Harris of , who is well and honorably known to us do not wish to be understood as casting the least reflection upon the high character and standing of the gentleman from Louisiana, far from respect and esteem him as much as any gentleman here present possibly can;but none of us can be blind to the fact that he has lost more flesh during the week that we have lain here than any among us—none of us can be blind to the fact that the committee has been derelict in its duty, either through negligence or a graver fault, in thus offering for our suffrages a gentleman who, however pure his own motives may be, has really less nutriment in him—'
“THE CHAIR：‘The gentleman from Missouri will take his seat. The Chair cannot allow the integrity of the committee to be questioned save by the regular course, under the action will the House take upon the gentleman's motion?'
“MR. HALLIDAY of Virginia：‘I move to further amend the report by substituting Davis of Oregon for may be urged by gentlemen that the hardships and privations of a frontier life have rendered tough;but, gentlemen, is this a time to cavil at toughness?Is this a time to be fastidious concerning trifles?Is this a time to dispute about matters of paltry significance?No, gentlemen, bulk is what we desire—substance, weight, bulk—these are the supreme requisites now—not talent, not genius, not insist upon my motion.'
“MR. MORGAN(excitedly)：‘—I do most strenuously object to this gentleman from Oregon is old, and furthermore is bulky only in bone—not in ask the gentleman from Virginia if it is soup we want instead of solid sustenance?if he would delude us with shadows?if he would mock our suffering with an Oregonian specter?I ask him if he can look upon the anxious faces around him, if he can gaze into our sad eyes, if he can listen to the beating of our expectant hearts, and still thrust this famine-stricken fraud upon us?I ask him if he can think of our desolate state, of our past sorrows, of our dark future, and still unpityingly foist upon us this wreck, this ruin, this tottering swindle, this gnarled and blighted and sapless vagabond from Oregon's hospitable shores?Never!'[Applause.]
“The amendment was put to vote, after a fiery debate, and lost. was substituted on the first balloting then ballots were held without a the sixth, was elected, all voting for him but was then moved that his election should be ratified by acclamation, which was lost, in consequence of his again voting against himself.
“MR. RADWAY moved that the House now take up the remaining candidates, and go into an election for was carried.
“On the first ballot—there was a tie, half the members favoring one candidate on account of his youth, and half favoring the other on account of his superior size. The President gave the casting vote for the latter, decision created considerable dissatisfaction among the friends of , the defeated candidate, and there was some talk of demanding a new ballot;but in the midst of it a motion to adjourn was carried, and the meeting broke up at once.
“The preparations for supper diverted the attention of the Ferguson faction from the discussion of their grievance for a long time, and then, when they would have taken it up again, the happy announcement that Mr. Harris was ready drove all thought of it to the winds.
“We improvised tables by propping up the backs of carscats, and sat down with hearts full of gratitude to the finest supper that had blessed our vision for seven torturing days. How changed we were from what we had been a few short hours before!Hopeless, sad-eyed misery, hunger, feverish anxiety, desperation, then;thankfulness, serenity, joy too deep for utterance I know was the cheeriest hour of my eventful winds howled, and blew the snow wildly about our prison house, but they were powerless to distress us any liked might have been better done, perhaps, but I am free to say that no man ever agreed with me better than Harris, or afforded me so large a degree of was very well, though rather high-flavored, but for genuine nutritiousness and delicacy of fiber, give me had his good points—I will not attempt to deny it, nor do I wish to do it but he was no more fitted for breakfast than a mummy would be, sir—not a —why, bless me!—and tough?Ah, he was very tough!You could not imagine it—you could never imagine anything like it.”
“Do you mean to tell me that—”
“Do not interrupt me, please. After breakfast we elected a man by the name of Walker, from Detroit, for was very wrote his wife so was worthy of all shall always remember was a little rare, but very then the next morning we had Morgan of Alabama for was one of the finest men I ever sat down to—handsome, educated, refined, spoke several languages fluently—a perfect gentleman, he was a perfect gentleman, and singularly supper we had that Oregon patriarch, and he was a fraud, there is no question about it—old, scraggy, tough, nobody can picture the finally said, gentlemen, you can do as you like, but I will wait for another Grimes of Illinois said,‘Gentlemen, I will wait you elect a man that has something to recommend him, I shall be glad to join you again.'it soon became evident that there was general dissatisfaction with Davis of Oregon, and so, to preserve the good will that had prevailed so pleasantly since we had had Harris, an election was called, and the result of it was that Baker of Georgia was was splendid!Well, well—after that we had Doolittle, and Hawkins, and McElroy(there was some complaint about McElroy, because he was uncommonly short and thin),and Penrod, and two Smiths, and Bailey(Bailey had a wooden leg, which was clear loss, but he was otherwise good),and an Indian boy, and an organ-grinder, and a gentleman by the name of Buckminster—a poor stick of a vagabond that wasn't any good for company and no account for were glad we got him elected before relief came.”
“And so the blessed relief did come at last?”
“Yes, it came one. bright, sunny morning, just after Murphy was the choice, and there never was a better, I am willing to testify;but John Murphy came home with us, in the train that came to succor us, and lived to marry the widow Harris—”
“Relict of—”
“Relict of our first choice. He married her, and is happy and respected and prosperous , it was like a novel, sir—it was like a is my stopping-place, sir;I must bid you time that you can make it convenient to tarry a day or two with me, I shall be glad to have like you, sir;I have conceived an affection for could like you as well as I liked Harris himself, day, sir, and a pleasant journey.”
He was gone. I never felt so stunned, so distressed, so bewildered in my in my soul I was glad he was all his gentleness of manner and his soft voice, I shuddered whenever he turned his hungry eye upon me;and when I heard that I had achieved his perilous affection, and that I stood almost with the late Harris in his esteem, my heart fairly stood still!
I was bewildered beyond description. I did not doubt his word;I could not question a single item in a statement so stamped with the earnestness of truth as his;but its dreadful details overpowered me, and threw my thoughts into hopeless saw the conductor looking at said,“Who is that man?”
“He was a member of Congress once, and a good one. But he got caught in a snow-drift in the cars, and like to have been starved to got so frost-bitten and frozen up generally, and used up for want of something to eat, that he was sick and out of his head two or three months is all right now, only he is a monomaniac, and when he gets on that old subject he never stops till he has eat up that whole car-load of people he talks would have finished the crowd by this time, only he had to get out has got their names as pat as he gets them all eat up but himself, he always says：‘Then the hour for the usual election for breakfast having arrived;and there being no opposition, I was duly elected, after which, there being no objections offered, I I am here.'”
I felt inexpressibly relieved to know that I had only been listening to the harmless vagaries of a madman instead of the genuine experiences of a bloodthirsty cannibal.
[Written about 1868]
(End of this chapter)
I visited St. Louis lately, and on my way West, after changing cars at Terre Haute, Indiana, a mild, benevolent-looking gentleman of about forty-five, or maybe fifty, came in at one of the way-stations and sat down beside talked together pleasantly on various subjects for an hour, perhaps, and I found him exceedingly intelligent and he learned that I was from Washington, he immediately began to ask questions about various public men, and about Congressional affairs;and I saw very shortly that I was conversing with a man who was perfectly familiar with the ins and outs of political life at the Capital, even to the ways and manners, and customs of procedure of Senators and Representatives in the Chambers of the National two men halted near us for a single moment, and one said to the other：
“Harris, if you'll do that for me, I'll never forget you, my boy.”
My new comrade's eye lighted pleasantly. The words had touched upon a happy memory, I his face settled into thoughtfulness—almost into turned to me and said,“Let me tell you a story;let me give you a secret chapter of my life—a chapter that has never been referred to by me since its events patiently, and promise that you will not interrupt me.”
I said I would not, and he related the following strange adventure, speaking sometimes with animation, sometimes with melancholy, but always with feeling and earnestness.
THE STRANGER'S NARRATIVE
“On the 19th of December,1853,I started from St. Louis on the evening train bound for were only twenty-four passengers, all were no ladies and no were in excellent spirits, and pleasant acquaintanceships were soon journey bade fair to be a happy one;and no individual in the party, I think, had even the vaguest presentiment of the horrors we were soon to undergo.
“At II p. began to snow after leaving the small village of Welden, we entered upon that tremendous prairie solitude that stretches its leagues on leagues of houseless dreariness far away toward the Jubilee winds, unobstructed by trees or hills, or even vagrant rocks, whistled fiercely across the level desert, driving the falling snow before it like spray from the crested waves of a stormy snow was deepening fast;and we knew, by the diminished speed of the train, that the engine was plowing through it with steadily increasing , it almost came to a dead halt sometimes, in the midst of great drifts that piled themselves like colossal graves across the began to gave place to grave possibility of being imprisoned in the snow, on the bleak prairie, fifty miles from any house, presented itself to every mind, and extended its depressing influence over every spirit.
“At two o'clock in the morning I was aroused out of an uneasy slumber by the ceasing of all motion about me. The appalling truth flashed upon me instantly—we were captives in a snow-drift!‘All hands to the rescue!'Every man sprang to into the wild night, the pitchy darkness, the billowy snow, the driving storm, every soul leaped, with the consciousness that a moment lost now might bring destruction to us , hands, boards—anything, everything that could displace snow, was brought into instant was a weird picture, that small company of frantic men fighting the banking snows, half in the blackest shadow and half in the angry light of the locomotive's reflector.
“One short hour sufficed to prove the utter uselessness of our efforts. The storm barricaded the track with a dozen drifts while we dug one worse than this, it was discovered that the last grand charge the engine had made upon the enemy had broken the fore-and-aft shaft of the driving-wheel!With a free track before us we should still have been entered the car wearied with labor, and very gathered about the stoves, and gravely canvassed our had no provisions whatever—in this lay our chief could not freeze, for there was a good supply of wood in the was our only discussion ended at last in accepting the disheartening decision of the conductor, viz.,that it would be death for any man to attempt to travel fifty miles on foot through snow like could not send for help, and even if we could it would not must submit, and await, as patiently as we might, succor or starvation!I think the stoutest heart there felt a momentary chill when those words were uttered.
“Within the hour conversation subsided to a low murmur here and there about the car, caught fitfully between the rising and falling of the blast;the lamps grew dim;and the majority of the castaways settled themselves among the flickering shadows to think—to forget the present, if they could—to sleep, if they might.
“The eternal night—it surely seemed eternal to us—wore its lagging hours away at last, and the cold gray dawn broke in the east. As the light grew stronger the passengers began to stir and give signs of life, one after another, and each in turn pushed his slouched hat up from his forehead, stretched his stiffened limbs, and glanced out of the windows upon the cheerless was cheerless, indeed!—not a living thing visible anywhere, not a human habitation;nothing but a vast white desert;uplifted sheets of snow drifting hither and thither before the wind—a world of eddying flakes shutting out the firmament above.
“All day we moped about the cars, saying little, thinking much. Another lingering dreary night—and hunger.
“Another dawning—another day of silence, sadness, wasting hunger, hopeless watching for succor that could not come. A night of restless slumber, filled with dreams of feasting—wakings distressed with the gnawings of hunger.
“The fourth day came and went—and the fifth!Five days of dreadful imprisonment!A savage hunger looked out at every eye. There was in it a sign of awful import—the foreshadowing of a something that was vaguely shaping itself in every heart—a something which no tongue dared yet to frame into words.
“The sixth day passed—the seventh dawned upon as gaunt and haggard and hopeless a company of men as ever stood in the shadow of death. It must out now!That thing which had been growing up in every heart was ready to leap from every lip at last!Nature had been taxed to the utmost—she must of Minnesota, tall, cadaverous, and pale, rose knew what was prepared—every emotion, every semblance of excitement—was smothered—only a calm, thoughtful seriousness appeared in the eyes that were lately so wild.
“‘Gentlemen：It cannot be delayed longer!The time is at hand!We must determine which of us shall die to furnish food for the rest!'
“MR. JOHN of Illinois rose and said：‘Gentlemen—I nominate the Sawyer of Tennessee.'
“MR. of Indiana said：‘I nominate Slote of New York.'
“MR. CHARLES ：‘I nominate of .'
“MR. SLOTE：‘Gentlemen—I desire to decline in favor of Nostrand, Jun.,of New Jersey.'
“MR. GASTON.‘If there be no objection, the gentleman's desire will be acceded to.'
“MR. VAN NOSTRAND objecting, the resignation of was resignations of and Bowen were also offered, and refused upon the same grounds.
“MR. of Ohio：‘I move that the nominations now close, and that the House proceed to an election by ballot.'
“MR. SAWYER：‘Gentlemen—I protest earnestly against these are, in every way, irregular and must beg to move that they be dropped at once, and that we elect a chairman of the meeting and proper officers to assist him, and then we can go on with the business before us understandingly.'
“MR. BELL of Iowa：‘Gentlemen—I is no time to stand upon forms and ceremonious more than seven days we have been without moment we lose in idle discussion increases our am satisfied with the nominations that have been made—every gentleman present is, I believe—and I, for one, do not see why we should not proceed at once to elect one or more of wish to offer a resolution—'
“MR. GASTON：‘It would be objected to, and have to lie over one day under the rules, thus bringing about the very delay you wish to gentleman from New Jersey—'
“MR. VAN NOSTRAND：‘Gentlemen—I am a stranger among you;I have not sought the distinction that has been conferred upon me, and I feel a delicacy—'
“MR. MORGAN of Alabama(interrupting)：‘I move the previous question.'
“The motion was carried, and further debate shut off, of course. The motion to elect officers was passed, and under it was chosen chairman, , secretary, , Dyer, and Baldwin a committee on nominations, and , purveyor, to assist the committee in making selections.
“A recess of half an hour was then taken, and some little caucusing followed. At the sound of the gavel the meeting reassembled, and the committee reported in favor of Ferguson of Kentucky, Lucien Herrman of Louisiana, and of Colorado as report was accepted.
“MR. ROGERS of Missouri：‘：The report being properly before the House now, I move to amend it by substituting for the name of that of Harris of , who is well and honorably known to us do not wish to be understood as casting the least reflection upon the high character and standing of the gentleman from Louisiana, far from respect and esteem him as much as any gentleman here present possibly can;but none of us can be blind to the fact that he has lost more flesh during the week that we have lain here than any among us—none of us can be blind to the fact that the committee has been derelict in its duty, either through negligence or a graver fault, in thus offering for our suffrages a gentleman who, however pure his own motives may be, has really less nutriment in him—'
“THE CHAIR：‘The gentleman from Missouri will take his seat. The Chair cannot allow the integrity of the committee to be questioned save by the regular course, under the action will the House take upon the gentleman's motion?'
“MR. HALLIDAY of Virginia：‘I move to further amend the report by substituting Davis of Oregon for may be urged by gentlemen that the hardships and privations of a frontier life have rendered tough;but, gentlemen, is this a time to cavil at toughness?Is this a time to be fastidious concerning trifles?Is this a time to dispute about matters of paltry significance?No, gentlemen, bulk is what we desire—substance, weight, bulk—these are the supreme requisites now—not talent, not genius, not insist upon my motion.'
“MR. MORGAN(excitedly)：‘—I do most strenuously object to this gentleman from Oregon is old, and furthermore is bulky only in bone—not in ask the gentleman from Virginia if it is soup we want instead of solid sustenance?if he would delude us with shadows?if he would mock our suffering with an Oregonian specter?I ask him if he can look upon the anxious faces around him, if he can gaze into our sad eyes, if he can listen to the beating of our expectant hearts, and still thrust this famine-stricken fraud upon us?I ask him if he can think of our desolate state, of our past sorrows, of our dark future, and still unpityingly foist upon us this wreck, this ruin, this tottering swindle, this gnarled and blighted and sapless vagabond from Oregon's hospitable shores?Never!'[Applause.]
“The amendment was put to vote, after a fiery debate, and lost. was substituted on the first balloting then ballots were held without a the sixth, was elected, all voting for him but was then moved that his election should be ratified by acclamation, which was lost, in consequence of his again voting against himself.
“MR. RADWAY moved that the House now take up the remaining candidates, and go into an election for was carried.
“On the first ballot—there was a tie, half the members favoring one candidate on account of his youth, and half favoring the other on account of his superior size. The President gave the casting vote for the latter, decision created considerable dissatisfaction among the friends of , the defeated candidate, and there was some talk of demanding a new ballot;but in the midst of it a motion to adjourn was carried, and the meeting broke up at once.
“The preparations for supper diverted the attention of the Ferguson faction from the discussion of their grievance for a long time, and then, when they would have taken it up again, the happy announcement that Mr. Harris was ready drove all thought of it to the winds.
“We improvised tables by propping up the backs of carscats, and sat down with hearts full of gratitude to the finest supper that had blessed our vision for seven torturing days. How changed we were from what we had been a few short hours before!Hopeless, sad-eyed misery, hunger, feverish anxiety, desperation, then;thankfulness, serenity, joy too deep for utterance I know was the cheeriest hour of my eventful winds howled, and blew the snow wildly about our prison house, but they were powerless to distress us any liked might have been better done, perhaps, but I am free to say that no man ever agreed with me better than Harris, or afforded me so large a degree of was very well, though rather high-flavored, but for genuine nutritiousness and delicacy of fiber, give me had his good points—I will not attempt to deny it, nor do I wish to do it but he was no more fitted for breakfast than a mummy would be, sir—not a —why, bless me!—and tough?Ah, he was very tough!You could not imagine it—you could never imagine anything like it.”
“Do you mean to tell me that—”
“Do not interrupt me, please. After breakfast we elected a man by the name of Walker, from Detroit, for was very wrote his wife so was worthy of all shall always remember was a little rare, but very then the next morning we had Morgan of Alabama for was one of the finest men I ever sat down to—handsome, educated, refined, spoke several languages fluently—a perfect gentleman, he was a perfect gentleman, and singularly supper we had that Oregon patriarch, and he was a fraud, there is no question about it—old, scraggy, tough, nobody can picture the finally said, gentlemen, you can do as you like, but I will wait for another Grimes of Illinois said,‘Gentlemen, I will wait you elect a man that has something to recommend him, I shall be glad to join you again.'it soon became evident that there was general dissatisfaction with Davis of Oregon, and so, to preserve the good will that had prevailed so pleasantly since we had had Harris, an election was called, and the result of it was that Baker of Georgia was was splendid!Well, well—after that we had Doolittle, and Hawkins, and McElroy(there was some complaint about McElroy, because he was uncommonly short and thin),and Penrod, and two Smiths, and Bailey(Bailey had a wooden leg, which was clear loss, but he was otherwise good),and an Indian boy, and an organ-grinder, and a gentleman by the name of Buckminster—a poor stick of a vagabond that wasn't any good for company and no account for were glad we got him elected before relief came.”
“And so the blessed relief did come at last?”
“Yes, it came one. bright, sunny morning, just after Murphy was the choice, and there never was a better, I am willing to testify;but John Murphy came home with us, in the train that came to succor us, and lived to marry the widow Harris—”
“Relict of—”
“Relict of our first choice. He married her, and is happy and respected and prosperous , it was like a novel, sir—it was like a is my stopping-place, sir;I must bid you time that you can make it convenient to tarry a day or two with me, I shall be glad to have like you, sir;I have conceived an affection for could like you as well as I liked Harris himself, day, sir, and a pleasant journey.”
He was gone. I never felt so stunned, so distressed, so bewildered in my in my soul I was glad he was all his gentleness of manner and his soft voice, I shuddered whenever he turned his hungry eye upon me;and when I heard that I had achieved his perilous affection, and that I stood almost with the late Harris in his esteem, my heart fairly stood still!
I was bewildered beyond description. I did not doubt his word;I could not question a single item in a statement so stamped with the earnestness of truth as his;but its dreadful details overpowered me, and threw my thoughts into hopeless saw the conductor looking at said,“Who is that man?”
“He was a member of Congress once, and a good one. But he got caught in a snow-drift in the cars, and like to have been starved to got so frost-bitten and frozen up generally, and used up for want of something to eat, that he was sick and out of his head two or three months is all right now, only he is a monomaniac, and when he gets on that old subject he never stops till he has eat up that whole car-load of people he talks would have finished the crowd by this time, only he had to get out has got their names as pat as he gets them all eat up but himself, he always says：‘Then the hour for the usual election for breakfast having arrived;and there being no opposition, I was duly elected, after which, there being no objections offered, I I am here.'”
I felt inexpressibly relieved to know that I had only been listening to the harmless vagaries of a madman instead of the genuine experiences of a bloodthirsty cannibal.
[Written about 1868]
(End of this chapter)
