Chapter 29 How to impress the other party→The Law of Emotions (1)
Nature is an orderly and regularly operating long as it is functioning normally, everything will be in order and follow the like a computer, an airplane, a machine, if they are operated properly and well controlled, they can perform their normal function.
Human emotions are like a machine. Once out of control, it cannot function normally. For those who are the main body of affairs, how to control their own emotions and the emotions of the other party becomes the key to the success or failure of things.
reverse psychology
Sometimes you can take advantage of the other party's opposing thoughts and emotions when doing things, and consciously say and do the opposite, so that the other party will sing the opposite of you, and you can also achieve your expected goals.
In the Ming Dynasty, there was a man named Yang An in Sichuan who offended many people because he was ruthless in law enforcement and upright after winning the first also wrote many times to directly remonstrate, which offended the emperor the instigation of treacherous ministers, the emperor was very furious, and planned to punish Yang An and send him to Yumen An knew that the emperor and a group of treacherous officials wanted to put himself to death, so he said to the emperor: "The crime of the minister deserves ten thousand deaths. The emperor wants to send me into the army. This is the forgiveness of the humble minister, but please promise me a small favor. A small request." "What request do you have?" asked the Emperor. "I'd rather go three thousand miles outside the pass than go to Biji Pass in Yunnan. The emperor doesn't know that there are four or two mosquitoes in Biji pass and half a catty of fleas. You must not send me there." The emperor was silent and waved his hand Let Yang An get on the journey thought, hum!You don't want to go to Bijiguan, but I want you to go, so that you can taste the bite of four or two big mosquitoes and half a catty of soon as Yang An left the customs, the emperor issued an imperial decree to send them to Yunnan to serve as an army.
Yang An knew that the emperor would not forgive him, and he could not be spared the group of treacherous ministers made trouble even more, wanting to put them to death and hurry the request is made from the front, the result will be completely opposite. Biji Pass is now Kunming City, which is very close to Yang An's hometown. Yang An wants to return to Yunnan, which is closer to his hometown. He knows that the emperor and a group of treacherous officials will fight with him Confrontation, you asked to go east, but he let you go west, and he couldn't compete with it, so Yang An took advantage of the other party's rebellious psychology and made a request that was contrary to his own wishes.
In 1914, Yuan Shikai implemented a dictatorship and sent Lu Jianzhang to trick Zhang Taiyan, then vice chairman of the Republican Party, into Longquan Temple for Taiyan was so angry that he declared a hunger Shikai was afraid that the matter would become a big issue and he would not be able to explain it to the public opinion circles. In a hurry, he arranged for Zhang Taiyan's disciple Wang Yitang to go to Longquan Temple to meet Zhang Zhang Taiyan saw Wang Yitang, he reprimanded him and said, "Are you here to be a lobbyist for Yuan Shikai?" Wang Yitang replied, "How dare I?" When Zhang Taiyan's attitude eased, Wang Yitang said, "I heard that my husband is going to die on a hunger strike. Why is that necessary?" Zhang Taiyan became angry again, and said, "I'd rather starve to death myself than wait for Thief Yuan to come and kill me!" Wang Yitang smiled and said, "Sir, this is exactly in Yuan Shikai's arms." Zhang Taiyan asked in puzzlement, "Why?" "Sir, think about it," Wang Yitang said, "If Yuan Shikai really wanted to kill you, it would be very easy. Now you are being killed. Imprisonment, you can know that he didn't want to kill you, but he didn't dare to kill you. Yuan Shikai's treachery is the same as Cao Aman (Cao Cao). The reason why he didn't dare to kill you is because he didn't want to leave the infamy of a killer forever If you starve to death voluntarily, Yuan Shikai will not be reprimanded as a murderer, and he will be relieved of his worries. Mr. Yuan Shikai was so perfect in counseling before, but why don’t you care about yourself?” After Zhang Taiyan heard this, he immediately got up and said: "You are right! It seems that I must eat at once."
Zhang Taiyan was very angry at Yuan Shikai's confinement, and protested with a hunger Shikai was afraid of the pressure of public opinion and was very Yitang volunteered to persuade Zhang Taiyan to Zhang Taiyan's disciple, Wang Yitang naturally understood his personality very well. Under such antagonism, he knew that if he directly persuaded him, he would only be scolded by Zhang first categorically denied that he was here to be a lobbyist, and then made a close conversation with Zhang Taiyan. Seeing Zhang Taiyan smiling, he took advantage of the other party's rebellious psychology and deliberately said that Zhang Taiyan's hunger strike and starvation was exactly what Yuan Shikai wanted, saying, "Yuan Shikai didn't kill him." The notoriety of the scholar, and get rid of the troubles in my heart."
Zhang Taiyan was naturally unwilling to let Yuan Shikai achieve his goal, you want me to die, but I will not die, "I have to eat right away."
Psychological tips:
The "cunning" Wang Yitang used Zhang Taiyan's rebellious psychology to achieve the desired goal.
When we use certain principles and norms to guide and control people's behavior, and when we restrict the behavior that deviates from the goal, people will generate an internal reverse force that makes them deviate from the correct goal.
In the process of doing things, due to the conflict of thoughts and emotions between the two sides, you want him to go east, but he tends to go west;This psychological condition constitutes an antibody that prevents us from exerting effective control over the behavior of others.
Sometimes when we do things with people, if we can’t reach an agreement with them from the front, then we can start from the opposite side of the matter, and use the other party’s rebellious psychology and negative emotions to achieve the desired effect of our work.
Be neither humble nor overbearing and concentrate on doing things
Inferiority is a poison that harms people, and even a sharp weapon for killing to statistics, 92% of people in the world cannot get out of the predicament of survival because they lack confidence in kind of person is like a fragile grass, without the confidence to go through the wind and is to say, lack of self-confidence, and being unable to walk through the trap of inferiority complex is the biggest mental illness of these people, which will naturally lead to you can't break free from low self-esteem, then you can't be a person who can overcome negative mentality.
People with a strong sense of inferiority often allow others to prove themselves by sacrificing their own generation of inferiority complex is often not a difference in understanding, but a difference in root cause is that people don't like to use realistic standards or scales to measure themselves, but believe or assume that they should reach certain standards or like "I should be like this", "I should be like a certain person", kind of pursuit will only breed more troubles and frustrations, making yourself more depressed and self-blame.
In fact, you are yourself, you don't have to "like" others, you can't "like" others, and no one asks you to "like".Therefore, if you want not to be captured by the surrounding environment and get out of inferiority complex, you need to dare to face the challenge, to meet it, overcome it, and surpass it.
The reputation of football king Pele has long been praised by many football fans around the world, but if it is said that this famous superstar was once a coward with low self-esteem, many people will definitely find it incredible.
Many years ago, Pele was not chic at all. When he learned that he had been selected for the most famous Santos football team in Brazil, he was so nervous that he stayed up all thought over and over again: "Will those famous players laugh at me? In case of such an embarrassing situation, do I have the face to come back to see my family and friends?" He even speculated for no reason: "Even if those big players are willing to play with me They just want to use their wonderful skills to contrast my clumsiness and ignorance. What should I do if they treat me as a teasing object on the court and send me home like an idiot? manage?"
An unprecedented doubt and fear made Bailey restless. He was a leader among his peers, but his anxiety and inferiority made him prefer to immerse himself in hope rather than dare to really step into the long-awaited is unbelievable that Pele, who later ruled the roost for many years and scored more than 1000 goals with unstoppable courage, was an inferiority complex who was indecisive and psychologically fragile.
Pele finally came to the Santos football team involuntarily. The tension and fear were beyond description. "The official practice has begun, and I am almost paralyzed with fright." This is how he entered a famous team.
I thought that when I first joined the team, I just practiced dribbling and passing, and then I would definitely be a bench , for the first time, the coach let him play and let him play the main nervous Bailey didn't recover for a long time, his legs seemed to grow on someone else's body, and every time the ball rolled to his side, he seemed to see someone else's fist hitting him.
Under such circumstances, he was almost forced to play, and when he ran on the field desperately once he opened his legs, he gradually forgot who he was playing with, even his own. I also forgot about existence, just catching, dribbling and passing the ball the end of training, he had forgotten about the Santos team and thought he was practicing on the stadium in his hometown...
In fact, Bailey's nervousness and low self-esteem stemmed entirely from taking himself too only care about how others will think of you, and you measure yourself against extremely high can this not lead to cowardice and low self-esteem?Extreme depression can drown out the vitality and talent that one of the football stars who terrified him despised him, and were quite friendly to him.
Psychological tips:
By forgetting himself, focusing on football, and maintaining a poised attitude, it is Pele's magic weapon to overcome nervousness and inferiority method is also applicable to us.
Inferiority is a negative self-evaluation mentality. It is a crisis mentality to think that one is not as good as others in some respects and produce negative emotions.
If a person is controlled by an inferiority complex, his spiritual life will be severely restrained, and his ingenuity and creativity will also be affected and cannot function , inferiority complex is a rope that binds creativity.
Do things with others, don't look down on yourself!Inferiority is a subjective experience, thinking that you are not good, but in fact you are not really long as you don't take things too seriously and believe that you can do it, do your best.
Make good use of excitement to guide emotions
Dealing with people, being good at provoking generals, as long as you use it properly and in a timely manner, the effect will be wonderful.
Zhang Yi went to Su Qin's mansion to meet Su Qin one day because of his lack of ambition and days later, Su Qin came out to see him, and only let him sit under the hall where the servants sat, only gave them food, and deliberately blamed Zhang Yi several times, saying that he was poor and did not want to deal with hearing this, Zhang Yi was very angry, left Su Qin, and went to Qin State.
On the way Zhang Yi went to Qin, a stranger accompanied him and gave him a lot of Zhang Yi arrived in the state of Qin, relying on money from strangers, he was able to pay a visit to King Hui of Qin, and was soon worshiped as a guest by King Hui of this time, the companion bid farewell to Zhang Yi and was about to leave. Zhang Yi asked him the reason, and the man said: "I don't know you. It is Su Jun (that is, Su Qin) who really understands and cares about you. He was worried that Qin would attack Zhao. And the plan to fight against Qin went bankrupt, thinking that only you have the ability to influence the national policy of Qin, so he used words to stimulate you and made you come to Qin. Then he sent me to follow and approach you in private, for you Use it. Now that you have been hired by the King of Qin, even if I have completed the task, I should go back and tell Su Jun." Zhang Yi was greatly moved after hearing , with his wisdom and talent, Zhang Yi persuaded the King of Qin to keep the Qin army from crossing the Hangu Pass for 15 years, and won a high reputation for the strategy of combining Su and Qin.
The direct stimulation method in the provocative method is the most method deliberately belittles the other party to look down on him, saying that he is not good enough, so as to arouse the other party's desire to win, and also enable him to exert his ability beyond the level, so as to achieve our goal.
When Ma Chao led troops to attack Jiameng Pass, Zhuge Liang told Liu Bei that only Zhang Fei and Zhao Yun were Ma Chao's Bei suggested that Zhang Fei go to Liang said: "My lord, don't talk, let me go and stimulate Yide."
Sure enough, Zhang Fei took the initiative to invite Ying to fight Ma Chao, but Zhuge Liang pretended not to hear, but said to Liu Bei: "Ma Chao is both wise and brave, no one can defeat him, unless he goes to Jingzhou to call Yunchang, then he can fight the enemy."
Zhang Fei suddenly shouted angrily: "Why did the military commander underestimate me? I once faced Cao Cao's army of millions by myself. Do I still fear Ma Chao?"
Zhuge Liang smiled and said: "You blocked the water and broke the bridge in Dangyang because Cao Cao didn't know the truth. If he knew the truth, how could you take advantage of it? Ma Chao was extremely brave. He almost killed Cao Cao in the battle of Weiqiao. Yun Chang may not be able to defeat him when he comes."
Zhang Fei said, "I'm going to take Ma Chao's head now, and if I lose, I'm willing to serve as a military order."
Zhuge Liang saw that the aggressive method had worked, so he nodded and Fei won the order and fought fiercely with Ma Chao for more than 200 rounds at Jiameng Pass. Although the winner was not decided at the time, Ma Chao was in awe. A few days later, he led the crowd to surrender to Liu Bei.
There is another form of the provocative method, which is the method of indirect indirectly belittles the other party in a way of making publicity and praising others, so as to stimulate the determination of the other party to overwhelm and surpass the third party, so that it can be used by me.
When Cao Cao set the central plains in the north and raised his troops to the south, Liu Bei sent Zhuge Liang to visit Sun Quan in the state of Wu, and persuaded the two states of Wu and Shu to join forces to resist Wei. Zhuge Liang knew that if he directly asked Wu and Shu to join forces, Sun Quan would think that Liu Bei wanted something from him. , things will be difficult to best way is to provoke him with the aggressive method.
After Zhuge Liang saw Sun Quan in Chaisang, he said: "I see that Cao Cao has a large army, and the Eastern Wu is no match. Why doesn't the general surrender to Cao Cao and become a vassal for the sake of temporary peace?" Sun Quan was very unhappy and asked back Zhuge Liang, why didn't Liu Bei surrender to Cao Cao?Zhuge Liang replied: "In ancient times, Tian Heng was only a strong man of Qi, and he was able to keep righteousness without humiliation. What's more, my lord is an empress and a world-class talent. How can he live under the eaves of traitors?" Agree with the alliance of Sun and Liu to resist Cao Zhuge Liang successfully completed the mission of going to Jiangdong.
The subtlety of the provocative method is that it can arouse someone's extreme emotions towards something, so that he can achieve something without 's an ingenious way of doing things.
Psychological tips:
When dealing with people, you must not stick to a single pattern in terms of methods, and should change with the changes of the objects you work with and their methods are suitable for someone or something, but not necessarily suitable for all people and things. For some people, as long as they are moved with emotion, understand them with reason, and treat them with sincerity, they can be moved; but in the same Under certain circumstances, some other people may "toast and not eat fine wine". Encourage him, maybe "the willows and flowers will brighten another village".
Be less restless, restrain yourself and obey others
You must understand that anger is easy to cause bad things and hurt the body. When people are strongly angry, bad emotions will cause strong changes in endocrine. These large amounts of hormones or other chemicals will cause great harm to the human angry easily, in most cases, not only does not solve the problem, but intensifies the conflict, the gain outweighs the gain.
Bacon said: "Anger is like a landmine. Everything you touch will be destroyed together." If you don't pay attention to cultivating your patience and calm disposition, once you encounter the "fuse", you will be furious and lose control of your emotions, and all good things will be blown up. Lose.
Therefore, when others criticize or even accuse you of your shortcomings, when you "quarrel" with your friends over a trivial matter, when you feel depressed in life for a while, you must learn to restrain your anger and let your brain "cool down" "Come down, let the "turbulent waves" in your chest calm down, suppress your rough voice, and take back the fist you were about to stretch out...
Everyone has the weakness of not being able to control their emotions, but people are not destined to be emotional slaves or victims of moody how to rid ourselves of the emotional enemies that destroy our comfort and happiness and hinder our success is one of the most refined arts.
(End of this chapter)
Nature is an orderly and regularly operating long as it is functioning normally, everything will be in order and follow the like a computer, an airplane, a machine, if they are operated properly and well controlled, they can perform their normal function.
Human emotions are like a machine. Once out of control, it cannot function normally. For those who are the main body of affairs, how to control their own emotions and the emotions of the other party becomes the key to the success or failure of things.
reverse psychology
Sometimes you can take advantage of the other party's opposing thoughts and emotions when doing things, and consciously say and do the opposite, so that the other party will sing the opposite of you, and you can also achieve your expected goals.
In the Ming Dynasty, there was a man named Yang An in Sichuan who offended many people because he was ruthless in law enforcement and upright after winning the first also wrote many times to directly remonstrate, which offended the emperor the instigation of treacherous ministers, the emperor was very furious, and planned to punish Yang An and send him to Yumen An knew that the emperor and a group of treacherous officials wanted to put himself to death, so he said to the emperor: "The crime of the minister deserves ten thousand deaths. The emperor wants to send me into the army. This is the forgiveness of the humble minister, but please promise me a small favor. A small request." "What request do you have?" asked the Emperor. "I'd rather go three thousand miles outside the pass than go to Biji Pass in Yunnan. The emperor doesn't know that there are four or two mosquitoes in Biji pass and half a catty of fleas. You must not send me there." The emperor was silent and waved his hand Let Yang An get on the journey thought, hum!You don't want to go to Bijiguan, but I want you to go, so that you can taste the bite of four or two big mosquitoes and half a catty of soon as Yang An left the customs, the emperor issued an imperial decree to send them to Yunnan to serve as an army.
Yang An knew that the emperor would not forgive him, and he could not be spared the group of treacherous ministers made trouble even more, wanting to put them to death and hurry the request is made from the front, the result will be completely opposite. Biji Pass is now Kunming City, which is very close to Yang An's hometown. Yang An wants to return to Yunnan, which is closer to his hometown. He knows that the emperor and a group of treacherous officials will fight with him Confrontation, you asked to go east, but he let you go west, and he couldn't compete with it, so Yang An took advantage of the other party's rebellious psychology and made a request that was contrary to his own wishes.
In 1914, Yuan Shikai implemented a dictatorship and sent Lu Jianzhang to trick Zhang Taiyan, then vice chairman of the Republican Party, into Longquan Temple for Taiyan was so angry that he declared a hunger Shikai was afraid that the matter would become a big issue and he would not be able to explain it to the public opinion circles. In a hurry, he arranged for Zhang Taiyan's disciple Wang Yitang to go to Longquan Temple to meet Zhang Zhang Taiyan saw Wang Yitang, he reprimanded him and said, "Are you here to be a lobbyist for Yuan Shikai?" Wang Yitang replied, "How dare I?" When Zhang Taiyan's attitude eased, Wang Yitang said, "I heard that my husband is going to die on a hunger strike. Why is that necessary?" Zhang Taiyan became angry again, and said, "I'd rather starve to death myself than wait for Thief Yuan to come and kill me!" Wang Yitang smiled and said, "Sir, this is exactly in Yuan Shikai's arms." Zhang Taiyan asked in puzzlement, "Why?" "Sir, think about it," Wang Yitang said, "If Yuan Shikai really wanted to kill you, it would be very easy. Now you are being killed. Imprisonment, you can know that he didn't want to kill you, but he didn't dare to kill you. Yuan Shikai's treachery is the same as Cao Aman (Cao Cao). The reason why he didn't dare to kill you is because he didn't want to leave the infamy of a killer forever If you starve to death voluntarily, Yuan Shikai will not be reprimanded as a murderer, and he will be relieved of his worries. Mr. Yuan Shikai was so perfect in counseling before, but why don’t you care about yourself?” After Zhang Taiyan heard this, he immediately got up and said: "You are right! It seems that I must eat at once."
Zhang Taiyan was very angry at Yuan Shikai's confinement, and protested with a hunger Shikai was afraid of the pressure of public opinion and was very Yitang volunteered to persuade Zhang Taiyan to Zhang Taiyan's disciple, Wang Yitang naturally understood his personality very well. Under such antagonism, he knew that if he directly persuaded him, he would only be scolded by Zhang first categorically denied that he was here to be a lobbyist, and then made a close conversation with Zhang Taiyan. Seeing Zhang Taiyan smiling, he took advantage of the other party's rebellious psychology and deliberately said that Zhang Taiyan's hunger strike and starvation was exactly what Yuan Shikai wanted, saying, "Yuan Shikai didn't kill him." The notoriety of the scholar, and get rid of the troubles in my heart."
Zhang Taiyan was naturally unwilling to let Yuan Shikai achieve his goal, you want me to die, but I will not die, "I have to eat right away."
Psychological tips:
The "cunning" Wang Yitang used Zhang Taiyan's rebellious psychology to achieve the desired goal.
When we use certain principles and norms to guide and control people's behavior, and when we restrict the behavior that deviates from the goal, people will generate an internal reverse force that makes them deviate from the correct goal.
In the process of doing things, due to the conflict of thoughts and emotions between the two sides, you want him to go east, but he tends to go west;This psychological condition constitutes an antibody that prevents us from exerting effective control over the behavior of others.
Sometimes when we do things with people, if we can’t reach an agreement with them from the front, then we can start from the opposite side of the matter, and use the other party’s rebellious psychology and negative emotions to achieve the desired effect of our work.
Be neither humble nor overbearing and concentrate on doing things
Inferiority is a poison that harms people, and even a sharp weapon for killing to statistics, 92% of people in the world cannot get out of the predicament of survival because they lack confidence in kind of person is like a fragile grass, without the confidence to go through the wind and is to say, lack of self-confidence, and being unable to walk through the trap of inferiority complex is the biggest mental illness of these people, which will naturally lead to you can't break free from low self-esteem, then you can't be a person who can overcome negative mentality.
People with a strong sense of inferiority often allow others to prove themselves by sacrificing their own generation of inferiority complex is often not a difference in understanding, but a difference in root cause is that people don't like to use realistic standards or scales to measure themselves, but believe or assume that they should reach certain standards or like "I should be like this", "I should be like a certain person", kind of pursuit will only breed more troubles and frustrations, making yourself more depressed and self-blame.
In fact, you are yourself, you don't have to "like" others, you can't "like" others, and no one asks you to "like".Therefore, if you want not to be captured by the surrounding environment and get out of inferiority complex, you need to dare to face the challenge, to meet it, overcome it, and surpass it.
The reputation of football king Pele has long been praised by many football fans around the world, but if it is said that this famous superstar was once a coward with low self-esteem, many people will definitely find it incredible.
Many years ago, Pele was not chic at all. When he learned that he had been selected for the most famous Santos football team in Brazil, he was so nervous that he stayed up all thought over and over again: "Will those famous players laugh at me? In case of such an embarrassing situation, do I have the face to come back to see my family and friends?" He even speculated for no reason: "Even if those big players are willing to play with me They just want to use their wonderful skills to contrast my clumsiness and ignorance. What should I do if they treat me as a teasing object on the court and send me home like an idiot? manage?"
An unprecedented doubt and fear made Bailey restless. He was a leader among his peers, but his anxiety and inferiority made him prefer to immerse himself in hope rather than dare to really step into the long-awaited is unbelievable that Pele, who later ruled the roost for many years and scored more than 1000 goals with unstoppable courage, was an inferiority complex who was indecisive and psychologically fragile.
Pele finally came to the Santos football team involuntarily. The tension and fear were beyond description. "The official practice has begun, and I am almost paralyzed with fright." This is how he entered a famous team.
I thought that when I first joined the team, I just practiced dribbling and passing, and then I would definitely be a bench , for the first time, the coach let him play and let him play the main nervous Bailey didn't recover for a long time, his legs seemed to grow on someone else's body, and every time the ball rolled to his side, he seemed to see someone else's fist hitting him.
Under such circumstances, he was almost forced to play, and when he ran on the field desperately once he opened his legs, he gradually forgot who he was playing with, even his own. I also forgot about existence, just catching, dribbling and passing the ball the end of training, he had forgotten about the Santos team and thought he was practicing on the stadium in his hometown...
In fact, Bailey's nervousness and low self-esteem stemmed entirely from taking himself too only care about how others will think of you, and you measure yourself against extremely high can this not lead to cowardice and low self-esteem?Extreme depression can drown out the vitality and talent that one of the football stars who terrified him despised him, and were quite friendly to him.
Psychological tips:
By forgetting himself, focusing on football, and maintaining a poised attitude, it is Pele's magic weapon to overcome nervousness and inferiority method is also applicable to us.
Inferiority is a negative self-evaluation mentality. It is a crisis mentality to think that one is not as good as others in some respects and produce negative emotions.
If a person is controlled by an inferiority complex, his spiritual life will be severely restrained, and his ingenuity and creativity will also be affected and cannot function , inferiority complex is a rope that binds creativity.
Do things with others, don't look down on yourself!Inferiority is a subjective experience, thinking that you are not good, but in fact you are not really long as you don't take things too seriously and believe that you can do it, do your best.
Make good use of excitement to guide emotions
Dealing with people, being good at provoking generals, as long as you use it properly and in a timely manner, the effect will be wonderful.
Zhang Yi went to Su Qin's mansion to meet Su Qin one day because of his lack of ambition and days later, Su Qin came out to see him, and only let him sit under the hall where the servants sat, only gave them food, and deliberately blamed Zhang Yi several times, saying that he was poor and did not want to deal with hearing this, Zhang Yi was very angry, left Su Qin, and went to Qin State.
On the way Zhang Yi went to Qin, a stranger accompanied him and gave him a lot of Zhang Yi arrived in the state of Qin, relying on money from strangers, he was able to pay a visit to King Hui of Qin, and was soon worshiped as a guest by King Hui of this time, the companion bid farewell to Zhang Yi and was about to leave. Zhang Yi asked him the reason, and the man said: "I don't know you. It is Su Jun (that is, Su Qin) who really understands and cares about you. He was worried that Qin would attack Zhao. And the plan to fight against Qin went bankrupt, thinking that only you have the ability to influence the national policy of Qin, so he used words to stimulate you and made you come to Qin. Then he sent me to follow and approach you in private, for you Use it. Now that you have been hired by the King of Qin, even if I have completed the task, I should go back and tell Su Jun." Zhang Yi was greatly moved after hearing , with his wisdom and talent, Zhang Yi persuaded the King of Qin to keep the Qin army from crossing the Hangu Pass for 15 years, and won a high reputation for the strategy of combining Su and Qin.
The direct stimulation method in the provocative method is the most method deliberately belittles the other party to look down on him, saying that he is not good enough, so as to arouse the other party's desire to win, and also enable him to exert his ability beyond the level, so as to achieve our goal.
When Ma Chao led troops to attack Jiameng Pass, Zhuge Liang told Liu Bei that only Zhang Fei and Zhao Yun were Ma Chao's Bei suggested that Zhang Fei go to Liang said: "My lord, don't talk, let me go and stimulate Yide."
Sure enough, Zhang Fei took the initiative to invite Ying to fight Ma Chao, but Zhuge Liang pretended not to hear, but said to Liu Bei: "Ma Chao is both wise and brave, no one can defeat him, unless he goes to Jingzhou to call Yunchang, then he can fight the enemy."
Zhang Fei suddenly shouted angrily: "Why did the military commander underestimate me? I once faced Cao Cao's army of millions by myself. Do I still fear Ma Chao?"
Zhuge Liang smiled and said: "You blocked the water and broke the bridge in Dangyang because Cao Cao didn't know the truth. If he knew the truth, how could you take advantage of it? Ma Chao was extremely brave. He almost killed Cao Cao in the battle of Weiqiao. Yun Chang may not be able to defeat him when he comes."
Zhang Fei said, "I'm going to take Ma Chao's head now, and if I lose, I'm willing to serve as a military order."
Zhuge Liang saw that the aggressive method had worked, so he nodded and Fei won the order and fought fiercely with Ma Chao for more than 200 rounds at Jiameng Pass. Although the winner was not decided at the time, Ma Chao was in awe. A few days later, he led the crowd to surrender to Liu Bei.
There is another form of the provocative method, which is the method of indirect indirectly belittles the other party in a way of making publicity and praising others, so as to stimulate the determination of the other party to overwhelm and surpass the third party, so that it can be used by me.
When Cao Cao set the central plains in the north and raised his troops to the south, Liu Bei sent Zhuge Liang to visit Sun Quan in the state of Wu, and persuaded the two states of Wu and Shu to join forces to resist Wei. Zhuge Liang knew that if he directly asked Wu and Shu to join forces, Sun Quan would think that Liu Bei wanted something from him. , things will be difficult to best way is to provoke him with the aggressive method.
After Zhuge Liang saw Sun Quan in Chaisang, he said: "I see that Cao Cao has a large army, and the Eastern Wu is no match. Why doesn't the general surrender to Cao Cao and become a vassal for the sake of temporary peace?" Sun Quan was very unhappy and asked back Zhuge Liang, why didn't Liu Bei surrender to Cao Cao?Zhuge Liang replied: "In ancient times, Tian Heng was only a strong man of Qi, and he was able to keep righteousness without humiliation. What's more, my lord is an empress and a world-class talent. How can he live under the eaves of traitors?" Agree with the alliance of Sun and Liu to resist Cao Zhuge Liang successfully completed the mission of going to Jiangdong.
The subtlety of the provocative method is that it can arouse someone's extreme emotions towards something, so that he can achieve something without 's an ingenious way of doing things.
Psychological tips:
When dealing with people, you must not stick to a single pattern in terms of methods, and should change with the changes of the objects you work with and their methods are suitable for someone or something, but not necessarily suitable for all people and things. For some people, as long as they are moved with emotion, understand them with reason, and treat them with sincerity, they can be moved; but in the same Under certain circumstances, some other people may "toast and not eat fine wine". Encourage him, maybe "the willows and flowers will brighten another village".
Be less restless, restrain yourself and obey others
You must understand that anger is easy to cause bad things and hurt the body. When people are strongly angry, bad emotions will cause strong changes in endocrine. These large amounts of hormones or other chemicals will cause great harm to the human angry easily, in most cases, not only does not solve the problem, but intensifies the conflict, the gain outweighs the gain.
Bacon said: "Anger is like a landmine. Everything you touch will be destroyed together." If you don't pay attention to cultivating your patience and calm disposition, once you encounter the "fuse", you will be furious and lose control of your emotions, and all good things will be blown up. Lose.
Therefore, when others criticize or even accuse you of your shortcomings, when you "quarrel" with your friends over a trivial matter, when you feel depressed in life for a while, you must learn to restrain your anger and let your brain "cool down" "Come down, let the "turbulent waves" in your chest calm down, suppress your rough voice, and take back the fist you were about to stretch out...
Everyone has the weakness of not being able to control their emotions, but people are not destined to be emotional slaves or victims of moody how to rid ourselves of the emotional enemies that destroy our comfort and happiness and hinder our success is one of the most refined arts.
(End of this chapter)
