Chapter 33 How to Share Benefits → The Law of Win-Win (2)
Once, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin played chess with Tang Jian, Minister of the Ministry of Jian was a straight-tempered person, usually not good at flattering, but also very brave. When playing chess with the emperor, he tried his best to beat Tang Taizong to the Taizong was furious, thinking of his usual disrespect, he couldn't restrain himself, and immediately ordered Tang Jian to be demoted as the governor of not letting go of his hatred, he called Yu Chigong again and asked him to go to Tang Jian's house to hear whether Tang Jian had any complaints about his handling. If so, he could be sentenced to death!
After Yu Chigong heard this, he felt that Taizong's way of killing people with a net was too much, so when Taizong called him to ask about Tang Jian's situation the next day, Yuchigong just refused to answer, but said, Your Majesty, please consider this matter carefully. matter, how to deal with it.
Tang Taizong was so angry that he threw the jade plate in his hand to the ground, turned around and Yuchi Gong, he had no choice but to back down.
After Tang Taizong went back, firstly, after calming down, he realized that he should not impose his will on others. Said: "Everyone is invited to come today to commend Yu Chigong's character. Because of Yu Chigong's persuasion, Tang Jian was spared from death; I was also exonerated from the crime of killing in vain, which made me realize that I should not put my thoughts I impose it on others, and I will correct my mistakes immediately. Through this incident, Yu Chigong spared himself the crime of telling lies and wronging others, and won the honor of loyalty and a thousand pieces of silk."
Cooperation requires equality among people and respect among , some people are not like this. They regard themselves as the master and their collaborators as "the gifted ones", so they intentionally or unintentionally show a sense of superiority, do not know how to respect others, and cooperate with others. In front of the cooperator, he is always a commander and orderer, which makes the collaborators feel dissatisfied. After a long time, this kind of cooperation will also end unhappy.
Some people around us are very capable, have little selfishness, and are very strict with themselves, but others just don't want to work under is the reason?It's because he doesn't quite understand the truth that "people are not sages, no one has faults", so he often imposes his own requirements on his collaborators, works overtime on holidays, and doesn't let others rest. If you want to be lazy, you just don't work hard, so you criticize people really need to reflect on their words and deeds.
Psychological tips:
Of course, Tang Taizong did this mainly to show respect for talents; at the same time, of course he was also grateful to Yu Yu Chigong really followed his words, how would it be known that Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty "made it clear" and did not punish Yu Chigong.
Success requires us to start with ourselves first, and then expand to those around us. You will find out what is your highest value, what is your most desired goal, what rules of the game of life you should use, and how to give to others. person you are familiar with the skills of building relationships, it will be easy to form the most sincere relationship with people and benefit a lot from it.
Empathy for both sides
Why do some people always fail?It is because he has always been self-centered and never willing to look at problems from the standpoint of others, so that he looks at problems too one-sidedly and is thankless.
Darrow is an American worker. In 1929, the Great Depression in the United States, there were 4000 million unemployed and poor people in the United the Great Depression, Darrow also lost his is valuable is that although Darrow is unemployed, he still has not lost confidence in life. He thinks that the United States is currently in a nationwide economic depression, and there are many unemployed people, so there must be many people living in poverty like is your strongest desire in your embarrassment?Yes, it is to get rid of poverty, get rich, and you dream about it yourself, others will also have this strong present, this general social psychology has value!After some thinking, creative inspiration came unexpectedly.
Once, Darrow was smearing on the kitchen floor and invented the Monopoly game card. This kind of Monopoly game card has its own characteristics. With it, no matter when and where, even if you are penniless, you will feel like living in a Paradise for the you win, you can taste the joy of buying land. If you lose, you can laugh it off and do it again.
This kind of game of drawing cakes to satisfy hunger can give spiritual comfort to the poor and meet people's special psychological , this kind of Monopoly game card was very popular with unemployed and impoverished Americans who loved fantasy adventures. By 1935, the sales volume reached 80 the Great Depression passed, people still couldn't put it down. It is estimated that 1 million sets of Monopoly game cards were sold all over the world, and hundreds of millions of people around the world played it.
Psychological tips:
Darrow, an unemployed worker who became a boss by virtue of his invention, became a veritable you can think about the problem from another angle, you will find that there is a vast space for development in front of you, allowing you to display your talents, and you can deal with them calmly without worrying about failure.
"People have the same heart, and the heart has the same desire", and if you extend yourself to others, you may be able to grasp the psychology of many people in the world, and then seize the needs and opportunities brought about by the psychology to start your own 's thinking in unemployment is empathy. He imagines others from his own standpoint and caters to the psychological needs of that, Darrow was able to come up with a reasonable plan, finally seized the opportunity, and went to success.
open-minded positive optimism
Humans are animals with thoughts and is a reflection of people's subjective attitude towards objective there is a good mood, whether it is open-minded or narrow-minded, can affect the thinking of solving problems, that is to say, an open-mindedness is conducive to a better solution to things.
During the Warring States Period, Liang State was adjacent to Chu State. The two countries set up boundary pavilions on the border, and the pavilion soldiers also planted watermelons in their respective soldiers of Liang Ting are hardworking and their melons grow very well, while the soldiers of Chu Ting are lazy and their melons are thin and weak, which cannot be compared with the growth of melons in the opposite melon Ting's people felt that they had lost face, so they sneaked over one night and tore off all the melon seedlings in Liang Ting.
The people from Liangting found out the next day, they were so angry that they reported it to Song Jiu, the magistrate of this county, saying that we should also go there and tear off their melon seedlings!Song said, this is of course despicable, but we obviously don't want them to tear off our melon seedlings, so why do we do the opposite?If others are wrong, if we follow suit, it will be too listen to me, from now on, go to water their melon seedlings every their melon seedlings grow well, and, if you do this, you must not let them listening to Song Jiu's words, Liang Ting's people felt that it made sense, so they followed suit.
The people in Chuting found that their melon seedlings were growing day by day, and it was the people in Liangting who were quietly working for them in the dark, so they reported the matter to the county magistrate of Chubian county magistrate felt very ashamed and admired after hearing this, so he reported the matter to the king of the king of Chu heard about it, he also felt the sincerity of the people of Liang to build a good relationship with their neighbors. He specially prepared a special gift for the king of Liang, not only as a show of self-blame, but also as a reward. .
Psychological tips:
Historical stories tell us that many difficulties in life are actually caused by ourselves.
Psychologist Dr. Pirila also pointed out that the blaming people are so busy criticizing others, complaining about the environment and luck, that they have no extra time and energy to think about how to correct if you just criticize and don't try to improve, it is enough to prove that this kind of person is a person who only finds other people's faults to cover up his own the same time, complaining about others is usually just lip service, and if they really want to come up with a solution, they are always at a loss.
Self-discipline should bring the autumn breeze, and others should bring the spring is the most important thing in getting along with others. If we condemn others' small mistakes and never forget them, our hearts will be coerced, our minds will be narrowed, and it will cause hidden crises when we get along with others, and create more enemies for ourselves. .On the contrary, a person who treats others with forgiveness, broad-mindedness, forgiveness and love, not only perfects his own self-cultivation, but also has a harmonious relationship with enemies, disasters will naturally not befall him.
Mutual benefit and win-win sharing of benefits
If a person adopts a pragmatic attitude towards his partners, he will never cooperate well, and the cooperation will soon be broken up.
(End of this chapter)
Once, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin played chess with Tang Jian, Minister of the Ministry of Jian was a straight-tempered person, usually not good at flattering, but also very brave. When playing chess with the emperor, he tried his best to beat Tang Taizong to the Taizong was furious, thinking of his usual disrespect, he couldn't restrain himself, and immediately ordered Tang Jian to be demoted as the governor of not letting go of his hatred, he called Yu Chigong again and asked him to go to Tang Jian's house to hear whether Tang Jian had any complaints about his handling. If so, he could be sentenced to death!
After Yu Chigong heard this, he felt that Taizong's way of killing people with a net was too much, so when Taizong called him to ask about Tang Jian's situation the next day, Yuchigong just refused to answer, but said, Your Majesty, please consider this matter carefully. matter, how to deal with it.
Tang Taizong was so angry that he threw the jade plate in his hand to the ground, turned around and Yuchi Gong, he had no choice but to back down.
After Tang Taizong went back, firstly, after calming down, he realized that he should not impose his will on others. Said: "Everyone is invited to come today to commend Yu Chigong's character. Because of Yu Chigong's persuasion, Tang Jian was spared from death; I was also exonerated from the crime of killing in vain, which made me realize that I should not put my thoughts I impose it on others, and I will correct my mistakes immediately. Through this incident, Yu Chigong spared himself the crime of telling lies and wronging others, and won the honor of loyalty and a thousand pieces of silk."
Cooperation requires equality among people and respect among , some people are not like this. They regard themselves as the master and their collaborators as "the gifted ones", so they intentionally or unintentionally show a sense of superiority, do not know how to respect others, and cooperate with others. In front of the cooperator, he is always a commander and orderer, which makes the collaborators feel dissatisfied. After a long time, this kind of cooperation will also end unhappy.
Some people around us are very capable, have little selfishness, and are very strict with themselves, but others just don't want to work under is the reason?It's because he doesn't quite understand the truth that "people are not sages, no one has faults", so he often imposes his own requirements on his collaborators, works overtime on holidays, and doesn't let others rest. If you want to be lazy, you just don't work hard, so you criticize people really need to reflect on their words and deeds.
Psychological tips:
Of course, Tang Taizong did this mainly to show respect for talents; at the same time, of course he was also grateful to Yu Yu Chigong really followed his words, how would it be known that Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty "made it clear" and did not punish Yu Chigong.
Success requires us to start with ourselves first, and then expand to those around us. You will find out what is your highest value, what is your most desired goal, what rules of the game of life you should use, and how to give to others. person you are familiar with the skills of building relationships, it will be easy to form the most sincere relationship with people and benefit a lot from it.
Empathy for both sides
Why do some people always fail?It is because he has always been self-centered and never willing to look at problems from the standpoint of others, so that he looks at problems too one-sidedly and is thankless.
Darrow is an American worker. In 1929, the Great Depression in the United States, there were 4000 million unemployed and poor people in the United the Great Depression, Darrow also lost his is valuable is that although Darrow is unemployed, he still has not lost confidence in life. He thinks that the United States is currently in a nationwide economic depression, and there are many unemployed people, so there must be many people living in poverty like is your strongest desire in your embarrassment?Yes, it is to get rid of poverty, get rich, and you dream about it yourself, others will also have this strong present, this general social psychology has value!After some thinking, creative inspiration came unexpectedly.
Once, Darrow was smearing on the kitchen floor and invented the Monopoly game card. This kind of Monopoly game card has its own characteristics. With it, no matter when and where, even if you are penniless, you will feel like living in a Paradise for the you win, you can taste the joy of buying land. If you lose, you can laugh it off and do it again.
This kind of game of drawing cakes to satisfy hunger can give spiritual comfort to the poor and meet people's special psychological , this kind of Monopoly game card was very popular with unemployed and impoverished Americans who loved fantasy adventures. By 1935, the sales volume reached 80 the Great Depression passed, people still couldn't put it down. It is estimated that 1 million sets of Monopoly game cards were sold all over the world, and hundreds of millions of people around the world played it.
Psychological tips:
Darrow, an unemployed worker who became a boss by virtue of his invention, became a veritable you can think about the problem from another angle, you will find that there is a vast space for development in front of you, allowing you to display your talents, and you can deal with them calmly without worrying about failure.
"People have the same heart, and the heart has the same desire", and if you extend yourself to others, you may be able to grasp the psychology of many people in the world, and then seize the needs and opportunities brought about by the psychology to start your own 's thinking in unemployment is empathy. He imagines others from his own standpoint and caters to the psychological needs of that, Darrow was able to come up with a reasonable plan, finally seized the opportunity, and went to success.
open-minded positive optimism
Humans are animals with thoughts and is a reflection of people's subjective attitude towards objective there is a good mood, whether it is open-minded or narrow-minded, can affect the thinking of solving problems, that is to say, an open-mindedness is conducive to a better solution to things.
During the Warring States Period, Liang State was adjacent to Chu State. The two countries set up boundary pavilions on the border, and the pavilion soldiers also planted watermelons in their respective soldiers of Liang Ting are hardworking and their melons grow very well, while the soldiers of Chu Ting are lazy and their melons are thin and weak, which cannot be compared with the growth of melons in the opposite melon Ting's people felt that they had lost face, so they sneaked over one night and tore off all the melon seedlings in Liang Ting.
The people from Liangting found out the next day, they were so angry that they reported it to Song Jiu, the magistrate of this county, saying that we should also go there and tear off their melon seedlings!Song said, this is of course despicable, but we obviously don't want them to tear off our melon seedlings, so why do we do the opposite?If others are wrong, if we follow suit, it will be too listen to me, from now on, go to water their melon seedlings every their melon seedlings grow well, and, if you do this, you must not let them listening to Song Jiu's words, Liang Ting's people felt that it made sense, so they followed suit.
The people in Chuting found that their melon seedlings were growing day by day, and it was the people in Liangting who were quietly working for them in the dark, so they reported the matter to the county magistrate of Chubian county magistrate felt very ashamed and admired after hearing this, so he reported the matter to the king of the king of Chu heard about it, he also felt the sincerity of the people of Liang to build a good relationship with their neighbors. He specially prepared a special gift for the king of Liang, not only as a show of self-blame, but also as a reward. .
Psychological tips:
Historical stories tell us that many difficulties in life are actually caused by ourselves.
Psychologist Dr. Pirila also pointed out that the blaming people are so busy criticizing others, complaining about the environment and luck, that they have no extra time and energy to think about how to correct if you just criticize and don't try to improve, it is enough to prove that this kind of person is a person who only finds other people's faults to cover up his own the same time, complaining about others is usually just lip service, and if they really want to come up with a solution, they are always at a loss.
Self-discipline should bring the autumn breeze, and others should bring the spring is the most important thing in getting along with others. If we condemn others' small mistakes and never forget them, our hearts will be coerced, our minds will be narrowed, and it will cause hidden crises when we get along with others, and create more enemies for ourselves. .On the contrary, a person who treats others with forgiveness, broad-mindedness, forgiveness and love, not only perfects his own self-cultivation, but also has a harmonious relationship with enemies, disasters will naturally not befall him.
Mutual benefit and win-win sharing of benefits
If a person adopts a pragmatic attitude towards his partners, he will never cooperate well, and the cooperation will soon be broken up.
(End of this chapter)
